Joseph Cole Sanders was born on August 13th in Charleston, South Carolina. The day he got home, his Dad put a photo on my phone with the note “Growing up”. I replied, “Fast until he sleeps through the night but after that not so fast”.
Then I thought, “What a strange thing for a Grandfather to say”, especially one whose whole career has been about facilitating intellectual, spiritual and emotional growth in others! I was being selfish, of course. I want his time with me, also known as childhood, to last forever. And, then, there is not wanting him to experience any real discomfort because we all know that growing up is full of bumps, bruises, heartache, toothache, frustration, earache, disappointment… I don’t want this child to ever hurt!
Of course, and thank goodness, he will grow. I stand by my selfishness – I want time with him, to be part of his foundation, to be a memory that he values. I don’t really want him to avoid hurt that is necessary for him to become the full, unique, unqualified super human being that he is capable of becoming. His contributions to the world will require growth and growth requires hurting.
Why is the union of growth and hurt so hard to accept? I still am looking for ways to be better that are painless. My most recent growth experience came from immersion in The Daring Way. It hurt to pay the registration fee, the travel, the follow-up coaching. It hurt to learn about aspects of me that I want to be different. It will hurt some more to make time, energy and experience frustration in order to be different in those ways. I have done and am doing those things, in spite of the hurt. Obviously, I believe it will be worthwhile when all is said and done. I still don’t like hurt.
Thankfully, I have a coach. Not to take the hurt away but to support me as I endure it. Not to wave a magic wand so I learn this powerful content but to help me learn it more efficiently. Not to do my work for me but to be sure I do the work that will get me where I want to be. A coach to make hurt, good.
Cole will have coaches throughout his life, I hope; so he can become all that he’s capable of being. He’ll even have a coach from DolphinWork Life Coaching! But he’ll call him Papa Dave.