She’s been living in another country for four years pursuing her passion for painting. Her parents understood the opportunities for growth and financial successes were much better in that far distant location than would be available closer to home. The consequences of encouraging her, in Joseph Campbell’s terms, to “follow her bliss” were not easily lived with. Dad also struggled with her living on the thin edge of financial catastrophe. Glad that her priorities were placed in richer values than the things that money can buy, he worried about her present and future financial insecurity.
Her announcement that she was going to attend an American University for a non-degree program of study in spirituality raised Dad’s concerns about financial security. There was some comfort in her return to the States, although living two time zones removed still wasn’t as close as he would like. What washed over his daughter was disapproval of her decision.
The coach reminded Dad of Covey’s Be, Do, Have paradigm. Covey used embedded spheres to illustrate the interdependent experience each human generates in daily living:
Consider the life of a human being in terms of these fundamental attributes:
who we are,
what we do, and
what we have.
When the outermost sphere is filled with air, it constricts the spheres within. Conversely, when the innermost sphere is filled with air, the outer spheres also expand. So it is with the human experience. When one focuses on what he has (the outer sphere), what he does, and who he is, (the spheres inside of the outer sphere) are constricted. When one focuses on who she is (the inner sphere), “what she does” and “what she acquires” (outside of that sphere), expands. The spiritual traditions of the Eastern Hemisphere are compatible with this inward out emphasis. Western spiritual traditions tend to an outward in orientation. A person’s life necessarily involves all three attributes. Deceiving oneself by focusing on any one or any two of the attributes at the exclusion of another attribute contributes to an unfulfilled individual. Positive living, one that is meaningful and fulfilled correlates with development of each and all attributes.
Dad’s insight after the coach’s reminder, was his focus on what his daughter (does not) have: financial security. She made her decision because she was focused what she wants to be. He understands that the quest for becoming is ongoing with everyone who desires meaningful, fulfilling life. And that, Dad realized again, is a fundamental that he has wanted for her from day one.
Are you successful in what you have but unsure about who you are? Is what you are successfully doing incompatible with what you have and/or who you are? Do you know someone for whom these states of existing are true? DolphinWork life coaches know the correct answers come from exploring within, declaring intention and sustaining attention. You are the expert in your life!