“Tit for tat is how you “go for breakthrough” when playing with [power grabbing aggressors]. Its aim is to help mutual cooperation evolve. Once in place, mutual cooperation sets the stage for the truly exciting, productive aspects of playing Breakthrough, aspects that have high survival value for all players, both short and long term. When playing Breakthrough with friendly, supportive colleagues, friends, relatives or organizations, [producers in a chaotic world] go for a win/win… or even greater mutual wins with these injunctions:
Develop trust and rapport
Tell the truth so you can clarify everyone’s needs explicitly
Specify, clarify, and define the expected outcome
Commit to it and see yourself achieving it
Stay “centered” in the present during conflict – this helps others to avoid being hooked by guilt and the regrets of the past and the anxieties and fears of the future.
Focus on what’s happening now – this is where and when solutions emerge.
Remain flexible and able to respond
Remove all blame and focus on what works
If strong negative emotions surface, acknowledge the feelings and ask, “What needs to happen now? What needs to change? What can I do to use this energy constructively?”
If resistance arises, explore it and use it rather than creating a battle of wills.
Develop the belief that you have the power to affect your life directly and that you will ultimately be supported.
Be willing to be illogical
Focus on going beyond ‘winning’ as opposed to merely ‘not losing’
Give everyone permission to win
Talk about what you are doing that is not working
Search for alternative meanings that will satisfy the situation and everyone’s needs more productively
Ask ‘What if…?’
Use metaphors, analogies, and stories that match the situation you are facing
Use humor. If this situation were funny, what would you be laughing at?
Be willing to identify and go beyond habit
Seek the unexpected
Make time to receive unconscious messages
Search for the second, third, or fourth “correct” solution
Accept the stress needed to motivate you to a higher order of processing
DolphinWorks Life Coaches understand that breakthrough must come from you. We don’t presume the correct answers, we support your creation and selection of constructive strategies and positive applications to be sure that the champion within you emerges on your field of play. Power is. You can use DolphinWorks to be assured that power for your greater good carries the day!